Post by Keyser Soze on Aug 21, 2023 12:54:13 GMT -6
Who's Hot
The Los Angeles Lakers are California Dreaming of a championship this season. They have the 6th best record in the ITP (25-12). And after dealing with some earlier season struggles, they have ripped off a 9 games and counting winning streak. If they wanna make it a perfect 10 in a row, it's gonna be a challenge as their next game is against the Minnesota Timberwolves (32-5). Challenge is the proper word to describe what the Lakers are dealing with in the Western Conference. Not only do they gotta go through Minnesota, but then you also have the 36-5 Sacramento Kings, who got the best record in all of basketball. However, the Lakers don't seem to be worried. Because with Damon Stoudamire (32.6 PPG) and Zach Lavine (28.6 PPG) they feel like they could beat anybody. Wouldn't you, if you had two guys combining for over 60 points a game? The other night vs the Celtics, Stoudamire went off for 34 points (15/28 FG shooting). While Zach scored added 25 points (10/18). A few games earlier vs Seattle, Damon scored 39 and Zach had 26. This is an everyday thing for the Lakers. They got the best duo in basketball. But there are some question marks beyond Damon/Zachs scoring prowess . Can they limit the turnovers? Theyre 20th in the league in that department. While Sacramento, the team they're trying to catch in Pacific Division, has the fewest turnovers in the ITP. The best teams in the league usually take care of the basketball. Because turnovers can become your death sentence in this league. Another thing the Lakers need to figure out is who's gonna be their reliable #3 option behind Damon and Zach. Former #4 overall pick Andrew Wiggins has had a quiet year averaging a career low 13.9 PPG. 6th man Jimmy King has regressed (Last Year: 11.7 PPG 46.4/85.0/39.7 shooting splits. This year: 8.8 PPG 43.3/80.3/33.3 splits). But question marks aside, as you go through this roster and see Damon, Zach, Wiggins, Towns, Webber, etc. One thought comes to mind...this team is FUCKING STACKED. And they're gonna be a problem in the West.
Who's Not
The Pacers got problems. Big problems. Their General Manager disappeared and they can't win a basketball game. They have 1 win in their last 15 games. A 117-93 victory vs the Houston Rockets. But in the 14 losses the Pacers have give up 114.1 PPG. Recently vs Cleveland, Spencer Dinwiddie of all people went off for 40 points 14 assists vs the Pacers. Vs Dallas, tbey let Bogdan Bogdanovic score 42 points. Charlotte's Devin Booker scored 34. Dr J had 27 on 80% FG shooting. Kevin Kunnert had a 38/10 performance. Even Motherfucking Bill Willoughby scored 39 points on 16/22 shooting. They let a Portland Trailblazers team that averages 91.7 PPG go off for 124 points. This is the most pathetic defense we've seen in this league over the last month. Before disappearing and ended up on the back of a milk carton, Pope claimed he had a plan. Was the plan to assemble the worst defense of all time? But there are some bright spots. You got a decent young core with Mashburn, Dwade, and Jermaine. They're also gonna be adding a projected top 5 pick to this roster. They're building something for the future. Will PopeMattythe1st return to lead them into that future?
Injury Report
Tiny Archibald (53) - A Broken skull will keep Tiny Archibald out for almost the rest of the regular season. He'll be healthy to return around the final month of the reg season. Tiny is a good young player, but he's been limited to only 8 games played this year. I guess that's what happens when you have Theo Maledon and Tyrese Maxey on your team. There's not much playing time available.
Mitch McGary (48) - Another long term injury was the torn quad suffered by Mitch McGary. Mitch is gonna be sidelined for at least the next two months. The 26 year old McGary is 3rd on the Blazers in scoring (12.6) And 2nd in rebounding (7.2). Who's gonna receive some of his minutes? What about former top 5 pick James Wiseman? He has yet to appear in a game this season. He's still only 24 years old. Give him a chance Portland.
Joe Meriweather (7) - The Bulls will have to play the entire sim 9 without their double double guy and team leading rebounder Joe Meriweather. Nikola Jokic will be placed into the starting lineup. It's been a rough year for the Joker. He signed a huge 6 year/126 million dollar deal in the off-season. And so far the Bulls haven't gotten much of a return on their investment (9.5 PPG 7.7 RPG 2.7 APG 2.2 TPG 396/734/258 shooting splits). Maybe this opportunity to start can help Jokic get going.
More News Around The League
- Staying with injuries. In the last column I stated that Bill Robinzine would be out 52 days with a bulging disc in his back. But there has been a change in circumstances. The Nets took Bill to a massage parlor, where he recieved a massage with a happy ending. And now we're happy to announce his return date is less than 1 month away (19 days). Amazing recovery for Bill.
- On to the bigger news of the sim. The all-star game is approaching. And the starters and reserves for both East and West will soon be announced. But before the league can pick it's all-stars. I'm gonna pick mine. So lets begin with the Eastern Conference Starters:
- Starting at center were going with Toronto Raptors big man with the big personality Joel Embiid getting his much deserved first all-star nod. It's crazy that it took 5 years but better later than never. He's scoring a career best 24 PPG, it's the first time he's eclipsed the 20 PPG mark in his career. He's also fourth in the ITP in rebounding (12.5).
- At Power Forward it's the defensive machine Nerlens Noel. The 3 time all defensive team selection now has all-star starter added to his resume. He's second in the league in blocks with 3.8 per game. While averaging 18.1 PPG 11.5 RPG.
- At Small Forward we've got old reliable George McGinnis. He's been carrying this Atlanta Hawks franchise on his book for 7 years. And this year might actually be his best season yet. 28.2 PPG (career best) 9.7 RPG 4.5 APG 2.6 SPG (career best) with a 49.6 shooting percentage.
- At SG we got George's twin out in Orlando, Mr John Drew. Like George, he's been backpacking his squad since Day 1 of the league. He's been all league 2nd team for 6 consecutive season. This year I think he finally makes all league 1st Team. Look at what he's doing: 32.5 PPG!!! 8.1 RPG. 3.1 APG. 1.9 SPG. The man even makes some three pointers (35.3 3Pt %).
- Starting at point guard...you already know what time it is. LaMelo Ball is the easy choice here. He's averaging over 35 PPG, which is the most in league history. He's shooting 54 % from three point land, which is the highest in league history. LaMelo Ball is a..
- Now let's get into the reserves. Backup center I'm going with Karlton Hines of the New York Knicks. Averaging nearly 19/12 with 2 blocks...At Power Forward it's gotta be Cleveland's LaMarcus Alridge. He's averaging 19.7 PPG 13.4 RPG 2.7 BPG...Small Forward I'm gonna do it. Yeah fuck it. Let's do it. LeBron Ramon James. I get it, his team has only 5 freaking games. But who cares. It's the all-star game. It's what the fans wanna see. And LeBron is ready is show out in front of them. Look what he's doing as an 18 year old: 20.3 PPG 6.5 RPG 4.1 APG. There were question marks about his Jumpshot entering the league. He's already shooting 44 % from threes. LeBron gotta be an all-star...at SG were going with another Raptor, Brandon Roy. Roy has sorta become a forgotten man recently. Especially last year after the Raptors won the title without him. But with Julius Erving sidelined earlier in the year, he had a chance to make everybody remember again. Because now the Raptors needed more scoring, and Roy was happy to oblige. He's averaging a career best 26.7 PPG...And At backup point guard we're going with another Toronto Raptor guard. WAIT. Actually instead of Hayes, I'm going with Eric Money. With the great season Washington has had they deserve 1 all-star representative. Money is averaging 26.5 PPG and 8.5 APG. He's also set a new league with 22 assists in a game. Money is leading his team to a surprising 25-7. Which leads to me making him an all-star.
- Now let's do the West. Starting with the Western Conference Starters:
- Center is a slam dunk. Moses Malone. 28.7 PPG 12.0 RPG 49.3 FG %. The best player on a 36-5 team. Not too bad.
- Power Forward is my guy Andrea Bargnani. I've always believed in his offensive talents. 28.6 PPG 9.5 RPG 2.0 BPG 48.5/88.6/48.9 shooting splits. He's having by far the best season of his career.
- Staying in Seattle, the Sonics get a 2nd all-star starter with Giannis Antetokounmpo. Giannis is averaging 28.0 PPG 9.8 RPG 5.1 APG 1.4 SPG 1.2 BPG. He's doing it all. Him and Andrea are the 2nd best 1-2 punch in the game.
- But the best 1-2 as we mentioned earlier in the article, well that duo resides in LA. Lakers starting guard and the 2006 Western Conference All-Star starting guard is Zach LaVine. He's one of the best pure shooters in the game with a near 50/90/40 split of 49.8/92.4/45.9. Hes 6th in the ITP in scoring with 28.6 PPG.
- And his backcourt running mate and fellow Laker is PG Damon Stoudamire. The league's 2nd best scorer at 32.6 PPG.
- Now let's finish up with the backups. Starting with the backup C Big Country Bryant Reeves. Reeves has faded into oblivion ever since signing the free agent deal with Memphis. As the Grizz keep regressing and Reeves becomes less relevant around the league. But he's still relevant enough to be an all-star. Especially with the 21/11 he's averaging this season...PF Kareem Abdul Jabbar gets the nod over Shumate and Mickey Johnson. The third year man becomes a first time all-star thanks to his 21.6 PPG 11.9 RPG 2.9 APG 2.1 BPG statline...SF Larry Kenon. You could argue for Larry to be the starter over Giannis. But I personally have him as a reserve. Regardless, he's having a monster season (28.1 PPG 10.6 RPG 3.3 APG 2.5 SPG)...SG Bogdan Bogdanovic has the Mavs playing their best basketball in franchise history (27-13 record). He's leading the way with 26.2 PPG...PG Theo Maledon is leading the ITP in assists (11.1 APG).
- And there you have it. To summarize
East
CE: Embiid/Hines
PF: Noel/Alridge
SF: McGinnis/LeBron
SG: Drew/Roy
PG: LaMelo/Money
Vs
West
CE: Moses/Big Country
PF: Bargnani/Kareem
SF: Giannis/Kenon
SG: LaVine/Bogdanovic
PG: Damon/Maledon
Who got the better team?
The Los Angeles Lakers are California Dreaming of a championship this season. They have the 6th best record in the ITP (25-12). And after dealing with some earlier season struggles, they have ripped off a 9 games and counting winning streak. If they wanna make it a perfect 10 in a row, it's gonna be a challenge as their next game is against the Minnesota Timberwolves (32-5). Challenge is the proper word to describe what the Lakers are dealing with in the Western Conference. Not only do they gotta go through Minnesota, but then you also have the 36-5 Sacramento Kings, who got the best record in all of basketball. However, the Lakers don't seem to be worried. Because with Damon Stoudamire (32.6 PPG) and Zach Lavine (28.6 PPG) they feel like they could beat anybody. Wouldn't you, if you had two guys combining for over 60 points a game? The other night vs the Celtics, Stoudamire went off for 34 points (15/28 FG shooting). While Zach scored added 25 points (10/18). A few games earlier vs Seattle, Damon scored 39 and Zach had 26. This is an everyday thing for the Lakers. They got the best duo in basketball. But there are some question marks beyond Damon/Zachs scoring prowess . Can they limit the turnovers? Theyre 20th in the league in that department. While Sacramento, the team they're trying to catch in Pacific Division, has the fewest turnovers in the ITP. The best teams in the league usually take care of the basketball. Because turnovers can become your death sentence in this league. Another thing the Lakers need to figure out is who's gonna be their reliable #3 option behind Damon and Zach. Former #4 overall pick Andrew Wiggins has had a quiet year averaging a career low 13.9 PPG. 6th man Jimmy King has regressed (Last Year: 11.7 PPG 46.4/85.0/39.7 shooting splits. This year: 8.8 PPG 43.3/80.3/33.3 splits). But question marks aside, as you go through this roster and see Damon, Zach, Wiggins, Towns, Webber, etc. One thought comes to mind...this team is FUCKING STACKED. And they're gonna be a problem in the West.
Who's Not
The Pacers got problems. Big problems. Their General Manager disappeared and they can't win a basketball game. They have 1 win in their last 15 games. A 117-93 victory vs the Houston Rockets. But in the 14 losses the Pacers have give up 114.1 PPG. Recently vs Cleveland, Spencer Dinwiddie of all people went off for 40 points 14 assists vs the Pacers. Vs Dallas, tbey let Bogdan Bogdanovic score 42 points. Charlotte's Devin Booker scored 34. Dr J had 27 on 80% FG shooting. Kevin Kunnert had a 38/10 performance. Even Motherfucking Bill Willoughby scored 39 points on 16/22 shooting. They let a Portland Trailblazers team that averages 91.7 PPG go off for 124 points. This is the most pathetic defense we've seen in this league over the last month. Before disappearing and ended up on the back of a milk carton, Pope claimed he had a plan. Was the plan to assemble the worst defense of all time? But there are some bright spots. You got a decent young core with Mashburn, Dwade, and Jermaine. They're also gonna be adding a projected top 5 pick to this roster. They're building something for the future. Will PopeMattythe1st return to lead them into that future?
Injury Report
Tiny Archibald (53) - A Broken skull will keep Tiny Archibald out for almost the rest of the regular season. He'll be healthy to return around the final month of the reg season. Tiny is a good young player, but he's been limited to only 8 games played this year. I guess that's what happens when you have Theo Maledon and Tyrese Maxey on your team. There's not much playing time available.
Mitch McGary (48) - Another long term injury was the torn quad suffered by Mitch McGary. Mitch is gonna be sidelined for at least the next two months. The 26 year old McGary is 3rd on the Blazers in scoring (12.6) And 2nd in rebounding (7.2). Who's gonna receive some of his minutes? What about former top 5 pick James Wiseman? He has yet to appear in a game this season. He's still only 24 years old. Give him a chance Portland.
Joe Meriweather (7) - The Bulls will have to play the entire sim 9 without their double double guy and team leading rebounder Joe Meriweather. Nikola Jokic will be placed into the starting lineup. It's been a rough year for the Joker. He signed a huge 6 year/126 million dollar deal in the off-season. And so far the Bulls haven't gotten much of a return on their investment (9.5 PPG 7.7 RPG 2.7 APG 2.2 TPG 396/734/258 shooting splits). Maybe this opportunity to start can help Jokic get going.
More News Around The League
- Staying with injuries. In the last column I stated that Bill Robinzine would be out 52 days with a bulging disc in his back. But there has been a change in circumstances. The Nets took Bill to a massage parlor, where he recieved a massage with a happy ending. And now we're happy to announce his return date is less than 1 month away (19 days). Amazing recovery for Bill.
- On to the bigger news of the sim. The all-star game is approaching. And the starters and reserves for both East and West will soon be announced. But before the league can pick it's all-stars. I'm gonna pick mine. So lets begin with the Eastern Conference Starters:
- Starting at center were going with Toronto Raptors big man with the big personality Joel Embiid getting his much deserved first all-star nod. It's crazy that it took 5 years but better later than never. He's scoring a career best 24 PPG, it's the first time he's eclipsed the 20 PPG mark in his career. He's also fourth in the ITP in rebounding (12.5).
- At Power Forward it's the defensive machine Nerlens Noel. The 3 time all defensive team selection now has all-star starter added to his resume. He's second in the league in blocks with 3.8 per game. While averaging 18.1 PPG 11.5 RPG.
- At Small Forward we've got old reliable George McGinnis. He's been carrying this Atlanta Hawks franchise on his book for 7 years. And this year might actually be his best season yet. 28.2 PPG (career best) 9.7 RPG 4.5 APG 2.6 SPG (career best) with a 49.6 shooting percentage.
- At SG we got George's twin out in Orlando, Mr John Drew. Like George, he's been backpacking his squad since Day 1 of the league. He's been all league 2nd team for 6 consecutive season. This year I think he finally makes all league 1st Team. Look at what he's doing: 32.5 PPG!!! 8.1 RPG. 3.1 APG. 1.9 SPG. The man even makes some three pointers (35.3 3Pt %).
- Starting at point guard...you already know what time it is. LaMelo Ball is the easy choice here. He's averaging over 35 PPG, which is the most in league history. He's shooting 54 % from three point land, which is the highest in league history. LaMelo Ball is a..
- Now let's get into the reserves. Backup center I'm going with Karlton Hines of the New York Knicks. Averaging nearly 19/12 with 2 blocks...At Power Forward it's gotta be Cleveland's LaMarcus Alridge. He's averaging 19.7 PPG 13.4 RPG 2.7 BPG...Small Forward I'm gonna do it. Yeah fuck it. Let's do it. LeBron Ramon James. I get it, his team has only 5 freaking games. But who cares. It's the all-star game. It's what the fans wanna see. And LeBron is ready is show out in front of them. Look what he's doing as an 18 year old: 20.3 PPG 6.5 RPG 4.1 APG. There were question marks about his Jumpshot entering the league. He's already shooting 44 % from threes. LeBron gotta be an all-star...at SG were going with another Raptor, Brandon Roy. Roy has sorta become a forgotten man recently. Especially last year after the Raptors won the title without him. But with Julius Erving sidelined earlier in the year, he had a chance to make everybody remember again. Because now the Raptors needed more scoring, and Roy was happy to oblige. He's averaging a career best 26.7 PPG...And At backup point guard we're going with another Toronto Raptor guard. WAIT. Actually instead of Hayes, I'm going with Eric Money. With the great season Washington has had they deserve 1 all-star representative. Money is averaging 26.5 PPG and 8.5 APG. He's also set a new league with 22 assists in a game. Money is leading his team to a surprising 25-7. Which leads to me making him an all-star.
- Now let's do the West. Starting with the Western Conference Starters:
- Center is a slam dunk. Moses Malone. 28.7 PPG 12.0 RPG 49.3 FG %. The best player on a 36-5 team. Not too bad.
- Power Forward is my guy Andrea Bargnani. I've always believed in his offensive talents. 28.6 PPG 9.5 RPG 2.0 BPG 48.5/88.6/48.9 shooting splits. He's having by far the best season of his career.
- Staying in Seattle, the Sonics get a 2nd all-star starter with Giannis Antetokounmpo. Giannis is averaging 28.0 PPG 9.8 RPG 5.1 APG 1.4 SPG 1.2 BPG. He's doing it all. Him and Andrea are the 2nd best 1-2 punch in the game.
- But the best 1-2 as we mentioned earlier in the article, well that duo resides in LA. Lakers starting guard and the 2006 Western Conference All-Star starting guard is Zach LaVine. He's one of the best pure shooters in the game with a near 50/90/40 split of 49.8/92.4/45.9. Hes 6th in the ITP in scoring with 28.6 PPG.
- And his backcourt running mate and fellow Laker is PG Damon Stoudamire. The league's 2nd best scorer at 32.6 PPG.
- Now let's finish up with the backups. Starting with the backup C Big Country Bryant Reeves. Reeves has faded into oblivion ever since signing the free agent deal with Memphis. As the Grizz keep regressing and Reeves becomes less relevant around the league. But he's still relevant enough to be an all-star. Especially with the 21/11 he's averaging this season...PF Kareem Abdul Jabbar gets the nod over Shumate and Mickey Johnson. The third year man becomes a first time all-star thanks to his 21.6 PPG 11.9 RPG 2.9 APG 2.1 BPG statline...SF Larry Kenon. You could argue for Larry to be the starter over Giannis. But I personally have him as a reserve. Regardless, he's having a monster season (28.1 PPG 10.6 RPG 3.3 APG 2.5 SPG)...SG Bogdan Bogdanovic has the Mavs playing their best basketball in franchise history (27-13 record). He's leading the way with 26.2 PPG...PG Theo Maledon is leading the ITP in assists (11.1 APG).
- And there you have it. To summarize
East
CE: Embiid/Hines
PF: Noel/Alridge
SF: McGinnis/LeBron
SG: Drew/Roy
PG: LaMelo/Money
Vs
West
CE: Moses/Big Country
PF: Bargnani/Kareem
SF: Giannis/Kenon
SG: LaVine/Bogdanovic
PG: Damon/Maledon
Who got the better team?