Post by jupee on Nov 3, 2023 3:13:38 GMT -6
Regular season individual player awards are still half-a-season away, so for all those hungry for recognition I present brand new “For Alternative Key Entertainers (F.A.K.E.) awards”. This might get annually if we get funding from national bank. Anyways, let’s begin.
“Charles Barkley” award – Chicago Bulls
Bulls are 5th in rebounding, although their frontcourt is Jokic and bunch of 6'7'' dudes. Yes they have Deadmon, but he plays only around 10 minutes a game. So the overall job they do on boards is impressing.
“You shall not pass” award - Sonics defence
The only team in top 5 of both oFG % and o3P %. No doubt the big reason why the are leading the West. I don’t buy that “oh they traded Flynn to tank” theory, as they added 18+10+1.5 bigman, while allowing Giannis to dominate small forwards instead of battling PF’s as he did last season. AND free-up cap for further additions.
“Larry Bird” award – New York Knicks
This was supposed to be an article about interesting facts and observations, but I am forced to place the most boring one – Knicks has been dominating this season more than ever before. You know the story walking into the All-Star 3-pointer contest locker room and saying: "Who's coming in second"?. That’s FDA now.
“Thon Maker/Serge Ibaka” award - Mike Brown
Poor guy Bob Dandridge seen his career going down by the end of 2005 season. Solution? He spent 2006 away in some communist experimental labs, put some additional weight and height, faked his passport and came back as rookie center Mike Brown. Don’t believe me? Check out historic stats of these two players:
happytailsnaturals.com/ITP8/2005/html/players/player596.htm
happytailsnaturals.com/ITPstats/html/players/player596.htm
“This ship cannot sink” award - T-Wolves
Minnesota entered this season with tanking plan, however, kept floating around play-off mark. Now, they seem to give up trying after acquiring Julius Erving. Not the sweetest backcourt to deal with, for whichever team gets to face Timberwolves in the first round.
“Scouts lie” award - Mickael Pietrus
Mickael Pietrus, whose outside abilities evaluated as „B“, is 4th in the league in three point shots percentage. .500, that’s better than Ray Allen, Théo Maledon and LaMelo Ball. French has been hiding something from us.
“Mr. Big Spender” award – Houston Rockets
3 years x 6M for Zoran Planinic. Same for Myles Turner and Michael Sweetney. 3 years x 7M for Montrezl Harrell. 6,3 M in two years for Tyus Edney. By market value, these are all minimum salary players. Last season Rockets looked like they are finally on the right track. Now they are back to some dark hole. Oh dear…
Congratulations to all the winners, you can now clam1000 GM Cash per award.
“Charles Barkley” award – Chicago Bulls
Bulls are 5th in rebounding, although their frontcourt is Jokic and bunch of 6'7'' dudes. Yes they have Deadmon, but he plays only around 10 minutes a game. So the overall job they do on boards is impressing.
“You shall not pass” award - Sonics defence
The only team in top 5 of both oFG % and o3P %. No doubt the big reason why the are leading the West. I don’t buy that “oh they traded Flynn to tank” theory, as they added 18+10+1.5 bigman, while allowing Giannis to dominate small forwards instead of battling PF’s as he did last season. AND free-up cap for further additions.
“Larry Bird” award – New York Knicks
This was supposed to be an article about interesting facts and observations, but I am forced to place the most boring one – Knicks has been dominating this season more than ever before. You know the story walking into the All-Star 3-pointer contest locker room and saying: "Who's coming in second"?. That’s FDA now.
“Thon Maker/Serge Ibaka” award - Mike Brown
Poor guy Bob Dandridge seen his career going down by the end of 2005 season. Solution? He spent 2006 away in some communist experimental labs, put some additional weight and height, faked his passport and came back as rookie center Mike Brown. Don’t believe me? Check out historic stats of these two players:
happytailsnaturals.com/ITP8/2005/html/players/player596.htm
happytailsnaturals.com/ITPstats/html/players/player596.htm
“This ship cannot sink” award - T-Wolves
Minnesota entered this season with tanking plan, however, kept floating around play-off mark. Now, they seem to give up trying after acquiring Julius Erving. Not the sweetest backcourt to deal with, for whichever team gets to face Timberwolves in the first round.
“Scouts lie” award - Mickael Pietrus
Mickael Pietrus, whose outside abilities evaluated as „B“, is 4th in the league in three point shots percentage. .500, that’s better than Ray Allen, Théo Maledon and LaMelo Ball. French has been hiding something from us.
“Mr. Big Spender” award – Houston Rockets
3 years x 6M for Zoran Planinic. Same for Myles Turner and Michael Sweetney. 3 years x 7M for Montrezl Harrell. 6,3 M in two years for Tyus Edney. By market value, these are all minimum salary players. Last season Rockets looked like they are finally on the right track. Now they are back to some dark hole. Oh dear…
Congratulations to all the winners, you can now clam